Halting, Uncertain

Uh-oh,  only three post days worth of room left in GF-topic month. Too bad for you, Mai!

More of S-girl's minus points today. Yay! (Caloo calay!)
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When I am curious about something I begin a relentless hunt to learn as much about it as I can or I lose interest or something shiny comes along. Whichever happens first. The thirst consumes me even as I find more and more sources from which to slake it. Something as simple as Wiki-ing or googling the topic, though... these were beyond S-girl. I'm not saying she didn't know how to type stuff into Google. Ish. I mean- damn, she and I would never have happened at all if she was that technologically impaired, I tell yah. That sorta ties back into that whole "capable girl" thing I kinda require.

BUT she definitely didn't have a confident air when going about using her computer. Speaking of which, I can't really say she went about doing anything at all with a "confident air". She wasn't constantly uncertain (almost) but definitely nothing above neutral.


I have an eye for details when it comes to certain things. Using computers is one of them. I wish using a thing often would naturally impart a certain amount of understanding for that thing's workings. That seems to make sense right?

For example, a farmer who toils in the field tilling his plot with a hoe will intuitively understand that a plow pulled through the earth by an ox or horse will accomplish the same task but more quickly and effectively.
But no. This is not a universal truth. If you doubt this, I invite you to think about how many people know how to drive. Then compare that to how many of those really know how a car engine works. If you believe this is a 1:1 ratio, you're naive. You're consumed by wishful thinking. You are in desperate need of a reality check. Or you're some kind of apologist.
Think about how many drivers don't even know how to change a tire. Or check the oil level. If you had to look it up just now, that's fine. Nothing about learning to drive teaches you how an internal combustion engine works. Likewise, nothing about sitting in a car while your mother drives you to school teaches you how to drive. Really, the only thing you gain from that kind of background sensory input is a tolerance for momentum shifts and moving at high speeds. It shouldn't be beyond your imagination that some people only know that turning the key in the ignition makes the engine go vroom.

S-girl was more of that kind. She knew how to use a computer but once she got a sort of handle on that she never tried any harder to use it better. For instance, S-girl still typed "www." in front of her URLs. I'm like "Really?". That's only one step from typing out the "http://", too. And if you can see that portion of the URL on your browser's address bar... well, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but you might be using Internet Explorer. But that's irrelevant. I doubt S-girl remembered the exact sequence to type out 'http://' anyway. 
You should know you don't have to type out the 'www.' by now, right? But damn. No. You should. But you don't have to. And you should know you don't have to type complete sentences in the Google search bar, right? Let's say I want to find out if there's an age limit for joining the police force, ok? S-girl would not think to just type in the most efficient search terms: [age limit police]. She'd type out something as if she was asking a human being a question: [how old do you have to be to join the police force]. If you tried Googling these terms just now (admit it, you did, didn't you, you cheeky bastard) then you will have discovered that both these queries returned pretty much the exact same results. But look at how little I typed and how much crap she stuffed into the search engine? S-girl didn't (maybe even still doesn't) know that Google search usually doesn't pay attention to "useless" words like in/definite articles (a, an, the).

If you start to think, "Well, this is a really trivial thing to pick on." just remember that's just a simple instance to give you a better idea of the larger picture. The cracks in the foundation bricks make the entire building unstable, you know?

Unlike this guy, I don't hesitate to tell people they are retarded.

What does the Googling story have to do with my thirst for knowledge? Well, both cases illustrate S-girl's lack of enthusiasm for self-improvement. ha-HAA!! See, there exists a narrative thread, frayed though it may be.
Anyway, even though I told S-girl how to Google better she still fell back into her comfort zone of inferior performance. And the 'thirst for knowledge' part; the Googling is really secondary for that. She didn't have it. When she encountered something she didn't know about, she wouldn't stay curious and go trying to find out more. She'd just let it go. "Oh, I don't know what that is, but I've been ok so far without that knowledge so I guess it doesn't matter anyway." What the fuck, man. That's a disgusting attitude. Just disgusting.
I mention Google and Wikipedia because both of these tools are readily available for learning. S-girl just didn't have the drive to make use of them.