Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Capricious

Looking at this post it looks like I accidentally shifted the focus from my own failings as any kind of sig.o. to S-girl's shortcomings as mine. That wasn't my intention. Furthermore, almost all of you ended up commenting on my description of my 100% perfect girl. That's your right but it wasn't what I was hoping for.

I touched on my capriciousness in the previous post about looking up stuff on Wiki, like when I discover a new band I end up reading about their history, their discography, current members, past members, what they are doing now, etc. But after I find all that, I might not necessarily lose interest, but I find something else, e.g. start a video game, and I read up on all the tips and tricks for controls and such. But no spoilers. As a movie guy, it shouldn't surprise you to know that I don't like spoilers. (A friend once ruined The Village [2004] for me. And his body was never found.)

That kind of intense focus and dedication followed by a rapid cooling of passions really messed with S-girl. That's one thing I really wish she'd've learned to accommodate. NOT just expect, which she claimed to do. She might've known it was coming but she'd run right over that cliff anyway and tell me she saw the fall. Maybe some masochistic tendencies lingered there, hmm?

Part of me wanted wants to say I'm not going to change like that. I'm capricious, that's how it is and I like it. But then I remember that I've already changed drastically once. I could conceivably do it again.

But I didn't and I won't. Ohohoho, not so capricious now, eh?!

The difference is that I love who I am now AND I am not going to change for someone else. Moreover, in a twisted sense, S-girl came to love me the way I was and to change that would have done her no favours in the long run.

That's a good piece of advice for all of you out there: If you are hoping your sig. o. will change, then s/he ain't the one. You found a close match, reeeaaalll close, maybe even your 85% or 90% perfect girl/guy but s/he ain't the One. Keep looking. It's scary, yes. You might never find your 100% perfect one. This could very well be the closest you ever get but you'll have to ask yourself if it's worth it to go with "almost perfect". I can't give you that answer.