Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Capricious

Looking at this post it looks like I accidentally shifted the focus from my own failings as any kind of sig.o. to S-girl's shortcomings as mine. That wasn't my intention. Furthermore, almost all of you ended up commenting on my description of my 100% perfect girl. That's your right but it wasn't what I was hoping for.

I touched on my capriciousness in the previous post about looking up stuff on Wiki, like when I discover a new band I end up reading about their history, their discography, current members, past members, what they are doing now, etc. But after I find all that, I might not necessarily lose interest, but I find something else, e.g. start a video game, and I read up on all the tips and tricks for controls and such. But no spoilers. As a movie guy, it shouldn't surprise you to know that I don't like spoilers. (A friend once ruined The Village [2004] for me. And his body was never found.)

That kind of intense focus and dedication followed by a rapid cooling of passions really messed with S-girl. That's one thing I really wish she'd've learned to accommodate. NOT just expect, which she claimed to do. She might've known it was coming but she'd run right over that cliff anyway and tell me she saw the fall. Maybe some masochistic tendencies lingered there, hmm?

Part of me wanted wants to say I'm not going to change like that. I'm capricious, that's how it is and I like it. But then I remember that I've already changed drastically once. I could conceivably do it again.

But I didn't and I won't. Ohohoho, not so capricious now, eh?!

The difference is that I love who I am now AND I am not going to change for someone else. Moreover, in a twisted sense, S-girl came to love me the way I was and to change that would have done her no favours in the long run.

That's a good piece of advice for all of you out there: If you are hoping your sig. o. will change, then s/he ain't the one. You found a close match, reeeaaalll close, maybe even your 85% or 90% perfect girl/guy but s/he ain't the One. Keep looking. It's scary, yes. You might never find your 100% perfect one. This could very well be the closest you ever get but you'll have to ask yourself if it's worth it to go with "almost perfect". I can't give you that answer.


14 comments:

  1. I agree you should be true to your natural personality and if someone doesn't like that in the long run its not going to work out!

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  2. Once you start changing yourself for someone.. happiness kinda just flows down the drain. Also, that 100% perfect person in your mind is usually a lot less perfect for us when we get to it. Sometimes it's the imperfections that keep us there, and a lot of people don't get that.

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    1. I think you're misunderstanding what I mean by 100% perfect. I mean perfect for *you* not perfect in the classical way, i.e. beautiful, graceful, funny, etc.

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  3. I may be jaded but I don't think there is such a thing as 100% perfect, no matter how much those Disney films everyone grows up watching say otherwise.

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    1. As with D4, I think you misunderstand what I mean by 100% perfect.

      Also, it's a reference to Murakami's short story.

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  4. Right on! You can't change people no matter how much better they'd be if they changed!

    (don't like spoilers? don't read this!: its his sled, vader is his father, and the dinosaurs break out of their cages in the park!)

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  5. That is some really good advice right there indeed. I'm still going through changes myself, not likely to be or find a sig. o. right now.

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    1. If you're changing, do it for your own sake. And change towards the person you want to be, nothing less will do.

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  6. I agree with you too!

    we don't need to change for someone else, neither no one should change him/herself for someone :D

    -love isn't something about changing, it's about accepting..sort of :D

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    1. That's a good way to put it, accepting. (^__^)

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  7. Lol @ his body was never found. *Shutters!*

    Okay, quick question! Can some change be accepted in a relationship? Looking back from the first time dating to now, I have seen a lot of little changes in myself. Nothing major but things I was not so kin about before, I find myself tolerable of, now.

    Thinking back, it could be a sign of maturity but a question still lingers, can there ever be a change for the better as a result of being in a relationship as oppose to you triggering that change in yourself? D: *Jw*

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    1. People are always changing from their experiences and having a relationship most definitely changes both people. I don't think it can always be classified as either 'better' or 'worse'. It's just change.

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