Monday, March 5, 2012


Comic book Batman's gotten pretty pre-reboot James Bond-sy. That is to say, he's become a parody of himself. You heard about how Batman is crazy prepared, as in he's prepared for anything that could happen ever and that's why he can go toe-to-toe with anyone who ever existed? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Writers for Batman stories have gotten their heads so twisted, they can't portray him as a believable character anymore. He's no longer "Bruce Wayne by day, masked crime fighter at night". He's "The Goddamned Batman". Nigh invulnerable. Goes on adventures with the Justice League. Goes on adventures outside of Gotham, sometimes not even on Earth. Going missing for extended periods like that has to be noticeable.

Simply put, Batman is broken. Just like Artemis Entreri, just like Ando, he's lost what made him special. He used to be the human element among scientifically-augmented humans, extraterrestrial aliens, robots, superhumans and other such implausible good guys. It's gotten to this point partly because of the fandom, partly because of poor writing. Writers see how much the fans love a character and they say, Hey! They love him like that! Then lemme make him MOAR AWSUM! And that's why you get stuff like Batman punching Superman and somehow doing anything more than getting a throbbing hand.

Batman should never have been placed in the same universe as Superman.
I love the animated series Justice League/ Unlimited and I can understand the corporate decision to put their two biggest properties together. But these two are in different classes and worlds universes in fact, when it comes to their separate realities. I'm talking villains.
Batman's villains are jokes compared to what a Superman villain has to be to make things interesting for Superman. This is really where the writers have to get ham-fisted in order to make things work. It's not pretty. Joker is a deranged but brilliant criminal but he has nothing on Superman. But when he's armed with the greatest power of all: THE WRITERS, he can do anything. He can knock Superman out with a electric buzzer (he has one of those), he can hit him with a projectile weapon infused with Kryptonite (an amazingly poor plot device in its own right), etc. All this despite Superman's super-fast reaction times in other situations.

My suspension of disbelief can only stretch so far.