Thursday, October 20, 2011

White Noise 2: The Light [2007]

So White Noise [2005] and White Noise 2 [2007] were on last night and I watched them both. I gotta say the sequel was a massive improvement over the first, thanks in no small part to Capt. Reynolds Nathan Fillion.

Take note though! A movie needn't do much to be thought better than White Noise. Actually, just casting Fillion means the movie was better than that piece of crap.

Anyhoo, it was pretty standard jump-scare fare. I freely confess that if the Captain wasn't in it I wouldn't have enjoyed it at all. As things stood, I enjoyed it a little.

I really do not have much to say about this movie one way or the other up until the final sequence. That's when I really burst out laughing at the idiocy of the screenplay writer and the director.


Check it out here. To give you a quick set-up on context: Nathan can see when people are about to die and he saves them. It turns out that on the third day after he has helped a person cheat death in this way the person gets possessed by the devil and goes on a killing spree. This woman is minutes away from the 72 hour mark and Nathan has come to kill her before she perpetrates a mass murder.



(≥ヮ)AHHAHAHAA WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT THEY HAVE WRITING THIS SHIT!

Oh man, what the hell did I just watch.
So let me get this straight. The ambulance shows up and the paramedics see a woman, apparently traumatized from the attempt on her life but otherwise UNHARMED, and make the diagnosis @4:40: "She's going into shock, let's get her out of here."
What, you need to take her on a car ride to calm her nerves, huh? Maybe play some smooth jazz on the radio to settle her down a bit?
Not to mention they toss her in the ambulance and drive off without even looking inside to see the man who has been shot multiple times. But nooooo, that woman is hyperventilating! Get 'er to the hospital, stat!
And then this ambulance driver who practically crawls into the back to see what's shakin' instead of watching where he's driving... I do hope you recall what it really means to go into shock by the way.

11 comments:

  1. Well.. thanks for the warning. I'm not sure this is meant to be a warning, but I'm taking it as one for sure. I'll just avoid it all together.

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  2. okay. I don't think I will still need to watch this whole thing. you pretty much give everything away. haha!

    the voices of the dead ^_^

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  3. lol'd at 6.22 orgasm face

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  4. well, sometimes, people do not think about logic while writing scenarious

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  5. I don't know why I watched that, but I'm glad I saved myself having to watch the entire movie. I think the ambulance left him there because he was clearly dead, but even so they would need to load him up, declare his death, and get his ass to the morgue. I'm also pretty sure that in a situation like this, the cops would shoot his hand to disarm him, rather than shooting him straight out. They should only shoot to kill after he's actually killed someone. But hey that would have made for a bad movie right?

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  6. Just back from a vacation without internet. At first, I thought you are noise sensitive and have sleeping trouble so you have to use white noise to sleep. But then it turned out you're talking about a movie...

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  7. I love it when movies do stupid things to help their plot!

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  8. @Mark: Actually, you're wrong there. No one with proper training will attempt to shoot at a hand to disarm people other than on tv (and what have you learned about drawing conclusions about reality from watching television, son?). You're always taught to shoot at the center of mass. No headshots, no shooting from the hip and no definitely not 'shoot the gun out of his hand'. And no, you don't have to wait for the crazed gunman to shoot first. That's just.... dumb.

    @Linux and Life: I hope it was restful. (^_^) And actually, now that you mention it, I did used to have white noise mp3 files to help me during my polyphasic sleep experiment phase.

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  9. So much for innocent until proven guilty. It isn't that dumb to wait for someone to commit a crime before punishing them for it. I'll admit pointing it at her like that didn't really look good on his part, but he could have still dropped it. I can understand shooting at the centre of mass, don't want to miss, but then shoot him once, none fatally, to disable him.

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  10. @Mark: Well, I'll give you that but when he brought the gun back up AND cocked it I think it's safe to presume that he'd made up his mind, you know?

    And yeah, Mr. Pringles there really didn't have to unload on him like that. (Get it? Pringles? Cuz once he started poppin' he couldn't... haha. ha. um...)

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  11. It wasn't that bad a pun, I've heard far worse.


    Often in American movies actually...

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