Thursday, October 20, 2011

White Noise 2: The Light [2007]

So White Noise [2005] and White Noise 2 [2007] were on last night and I watched them both. I gotta say the sequel was a massive improvement over the first, thanks in no small part to Capt. Reynolds Nathan Fillion.

Take note though! A movie needn't do much to be thought better than White Noise. Actually, just casting Fillion means the movie was better than that piece of crap.

Anyhoo, it was pretty standard jump-scare fare. I freely confess that if the Captain wasn't in it I wouldn't have enjoyed it at all. As things stood, I enjoyed it a little.

I really do not have much to say about this movie one way or the other up until the final sequence. That's when I really burst out laughing at the idiocy of the screenplay writer and the director.


Check it out here. To give you a quick set-up on context: Nathan can see when people are about to die and he saves them. It turns out that on the third day after he has helped a person cheat death in this way the person gets possessed by the devil and goes on a killing spree. This woman is minutes away from the 72 hour mark and Nathan has come to kill her before she perpetrates a mass murder.



(≥ヮ)AHHAHAHAA WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT THEY HAVE WRITING THIS SHIT!

Oh man, what the hell did I just watch.
So let me get this straight. The ambulance shows up and the paramedics see a woman, apparently traumatized from the attempt on her life but otherwise UNHARMED, and make the diagnosis @4:40: "She's going into shock, let's get her out of here."
What, you need to take her on a car ride to calm her nerves, huh? Maybe play some smooth jazz on the radio to settle her down a bit?
Not to mention they toss her in the ambulance and drive off without even looking inside to see the man who has been shot multiple times. But nooooo, that woman is hyperventilating! Get 'er to the hospital, stat!
And then this ambulance driver who practically crawls into the back to see what's shakin' instead of watching where he's driving... I do hope you recall what it really means to go into shock by the way.