Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Room [2003] Pt.3

This will be the end, for either myself or this movie! (سಥ益ಥ)س

So the scene with Mark, Peter and Johnny continues. They talk about random events, past and future, in what I can only assume is an effort to 'broaden' the world they're living in. Furthermore, the sheer awkwardness of all three 'actors' makes their line reading hackneyed and offbeat.

Johnny, apropos of nothing, goes into the kitchen to make them something to eat and conveniently leave the scene. Lisa and Danny enter. Mark totally nonchalantly exits, followed closely by Peter. Didn't they just say they'd like to eat something? What assholes. It turns out they go up to the roof, separately. Apparently, Peter went somewhere before happening to encounter Mark on the roof. He confesses that he's had an affair with Lisa. Peter advises him to find another girl and never see Lisa again because she's "a sociopath, she only cares about herself, she can't love ANYONE". Wow. You flipped on your friend real fast there, Peter. I wonder what you have to say about Johnny when he isn't around. Meh. Probably nothing the rest of us wouldn't agree with.

Cut to everyone dressed up in tuxedos, presumably to get ready for the wedding. But no. They go back to tossing around the football. Come on guys, didn't this turn out so well last time? And Peter falls down in short order. They 'go home', Johnny's favorite activity. Coincidentally, this is Tommy Wiseau's favorite method of scene transition.

Next scene, Mark and Johnny meet for coffee. Wait. Wasn't there a wedding? What happened with that? Why'd everyone put on the tuxedos? Why is Mark suddenly clean-shaven? (He is.)

Here's a snippet of their conversation:
Mark: How was work today?
Johnny: Oh , pretty good. We got a new client. At the bank. We make a lot of money.
Mark: What client?
J: I can not tell you. It's confidential.
M: Aw come on. Why not?
J: I can't anyway how's your sex life?

(ಠдಠ)
Ca- can I use that smooth segue in my next conversation?
And I swear, as Johnny leaves he says, "Ok doggy, bye~". Either he's trying to be 'hip' or Tommy got confused what scene he's doing in his own convoluted screenplay.

Cut to Lisa pulling Mark upstairs. Mark, ever clueless, asks, "What's goin' on here?" In addition, he re-emphasizes that Mark is his "best friend", a fact that he whips out for any excuse or none.

[Another long bad sex scene]

[Another pointless piece of stock footage of San Fransisco]

Johnny and Mark run through the park tossing a football. You know what? I think this movie was just an excuse for Tommy Wiseau to try and simulate having friends to play football with, tell him what a great guy he is and to get naked and hump a girl. Yep. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Cut to Mark and Lisa getting it on AGAIN. Fortunately, a knock interrupts them. Mark has difficulty getting his contraption shirt back on. Instead of waiting, Lisa invites whoever is knocking to come in.
For one thing, what if it was Johnny? For another, why did they knock? No one has bothered to do so up til now in this movie, why start now?
It's random girl! The one who came in to have sex with random guy that other time. (They didn't knock before entering that time either.) She takes the scene of her friend having an affair rather well. For that matter, everyone in this movie seems to take troublesome news unusually well. What happened to that breast cancer, by the way?

Goddamn, this movie isn't over yet.

These are for you, Tommy. 凸-(ಠ_ಠ)-凸