Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Grudge 3 [2009]

This is it. This is the last one, honest. Hell, what am I feeling responsibility for? I'm not the one pushing out these crapfests. \(9.9)/

This one is going to be short. I've done so much groaning and eye-rolling I should audition to be Kayako's double for the ghosting scenes.

Shimizu steps aside for this one and lets someone else direct. It doesn't help.

He's not laying on the couch. He's in the air here.
The story continues from the Chicago story arc. Jake survived from the last film but he gets served in under 5 minutes from the start of the movie. We find Jake in a padded cell when Kayako comes for him. The curse is just ludicrous at this point. We see him getting tossed around the room like a rag-doll through the security camera feed. Nothing left to the imagination. At all.

So Hollywood decided to take the exorcism route with this movie. Now Kayako has a sister who also deals with evil spirits. She goes to America to end the curse. Why she never did anything to stop the curse at the Saeki house, I don't know. In fact, the house is still cursed, yes? Go fix that first! Or are we continuing under the new belief that the actual spirits of Kayako & Co. are wandering around, rather than a curse? The difference is that the curse spreads everywhere while a Kayako ghost, vengeful though she is, can't be in two places at once.
So Kayako and Co. are now in Chicago, the Saeki house seems to have been vacated. So the sister, Naoko, goes to the apartment to fix things.

Our new cast of characters:
Max, the landlord.
Rose, younger sister with asthma (looks young enough to be his daughter).
Lisa, sister.

We get a bunch of people killed off without much characterization before Naoko convinces the family to participate in an exorcism, similar to the rituals her mother did, as we saw in The Grudge 2 [2006].

What bullshit. The curse exists outside of individual people, that's what made it so creepy. You couldn't fight it, it just got you. This intangible, malevolent force killed people. Now it's all about malevolent spirits. And for some reason they focus on Kayako. Hell, Takeo's the one who's really possessing people around here. Kayako kills all by her lonesome.

Nevertheless, by the time Lisa is convinced to go through with this Max has fallen under Takeo's murderous influence. He interrupts the ritual to kill everybody. Naoko gets killed like a bitch without putting up any kind of fight. Lisa and Rose just sit there while all this happens instead of running. Just before Max kills Lisa, Rose drinks the droplet of blood. The possession ends but OH NOES, Naoko rips off her sister's act and comes back death rattling and pale too. A new curse begins this day. Meanwhile, Lisa hugs Rose in relief only for us to see that Rose is actually Kayako. Kayako's spirit now dwells in Rose's body?

Thank you, Picard. You have a way with words.
Ok, none of this makes any sense. Kayako served as her mother's spiritual ashtray back in her exorcism days and she turned out ok, at least until her husband murdered her, but that was a completely unrelated occurrence. How come the exorcised soul, Kayako, is now possessing Rose?
Lastly, a grudge can start from anyone who dies with a, well, strong and burning grudge that remains unfulfilled. Right? So why is Naoko now an onryou, a vengeful ghost? It looks like anyone who is A) Japanese and B) Has long black hair, becomes a ghost?

Bullshit all over the place here. This is it. It's over. I'm done with this stuff. I'm gonna pass on Ju-on: Shiroi Roujo/Kuroi Shoujo [2009]. I hear they're crappy and I have no reason to doubt it based on what I've had to endure these past few days. I'll spare you guys the reflected pain too.

Hell, this post turned out pretty long too hahahaha. I can't help mah self guys. I apologize.

PEACE. ( ̄___ ̄)_V