Review: Thief 2014 a.k.a. Thief 4

This is my review of the PC game Thief that developer Eidos-Montreal released in 2014. It's been a long time since I've written a review for anything, hasn't it? So brace yourself for a really long post the likes of which you haven't seen around here since 2013! I've mentioned the Thief video game franchise in passing twice before. I'll reiterate: I consider the first two entries to be masterpieces of the stealth video game genre. The third one was a'ight. Therefore, of course I have a lot to say about this latest addition to the franchise.

Battlestation Components (2)

You remember this guy, huh?

Speaking of things that could only store one game, does anyone remember those demo discs that came with issues of PC Gamer magazine? You know, those CDs that had game demos on 'em? The first discs I have (I'll post a pic if I can find where I put the stash) contain at least 10 demos on them. That's 10 different games you can sample! Then over the years you can see the number of games per disc shrink as the game files get bigger. You can only fit so much data on a damn CD, eh? The latest one I have has only 4 games on it, 5 tops, if I recall. I'm pretty sure they simply stopped issuing demo discs before they ended up with only one game to try out. These days I'm pretty sure you can just download any game demos you wish from their website. But then, do people still play demos even? I sure don't. I just read the reviews from other people who play the game and decide if I'm going to buy the full thing based on the consensus.

Farewell Ol' Buddy

Play this track as you read this post.

Eventful Night

Hey guys, I'm still alive over here. (O_O)^
On the other hand, I can't say the same for a lot of people after last night. I dunno what happened but at least 8 people checked out with cardiac arrests in the night. I've never known that many individual people to go down in a single span of 12 hours. (Twelve hours is the length of my EMT shift.)
The outbreak of burglaries and fights didn't help things either.

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In other news, Gearbox Studios really has the best taste in music for their Borderlands video game intros. Enjoy.

Post-Apocalyptic

Today my brother pointed out that I like post-apocalyptic stuff "too much".
I retort that I like it just the right amount: "lots".

You can make any kind of story set in regular times. There's a virtually unlimited supply of resources out there in a pre-apocalyptic world. That ain't interesting! But in the aftermath of an end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it scenario people will have to survive by scraping up the remnants of civilizations decadence. Bullets will be in finite supply since the factories and advanced manufacturing technology will have been destroyed. Clean water will be scarce. That's a cool premise! Movies like The Book of Eli [2010], books like H.G. Wells' The Time Machine, and video games like Fallout get me in a special way because of these little details.

Dream: A-boy Plays Vidja Games

I totally forgot having this dream but apparently I had the presence of mind to write it down on a notepad.
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I was walking through an alley between a tool-shed and a garage. I was wearing my Marshmallow earphones so I couldn't hear anything but I could see that someone had set up a small camp close to the exit.
 Have I ever told you how much I like that particular brand of earphones? It's one of the best inexpensive ones you can buy, commonly only ~$20. The audio quality is excellent for the value, they're very comfortable, and they isolate external noise very well. But enough with the commercial.
After exiting the alley I was accosted from behind by someone carrying a large mattress. While squashed beneath it I removed my earphones and played dead for a moment before flipping it over using the Tatami Flip technique (Ranma 1/2). It turns out it was A-boy. We start rolling and I get him in an RNC but his leg touches a portable kerosene lamp and we break. He tells me he wants my help with something. I start a campfire using a napkin as kindling. The napkin has a doodle of Kaylee from Firefly on it. A-boy has a TV set in his backpack. He tells me he played 4 minutes of Jet Moto before I came over. It strikes me that it isn't his kind of game. (He likes RPGs.)

My Thirst Has Been Sated

Many people can't appreciate subtlety. If you're one of them then move along. This ain't for you.

If you have time and patience, check this out. This is one something that you really have to respect in order to get the most out of it. It's like a mystery novel. Flipping to the end to find out what happens immediately is like spitting in the author's face. It ruins the suspense. Spoils the mystery, hmm?

If you get bored halfway through this and want to fast forward, just close the tab. Don't even finish it, just close the tab and leave.

Otherwise, fullscreen it, close the curtains, turn off the lights and put on some headphones.

Don't eat chips. This is me. Watching you watch this.

Statute of Limitations

How long after a work comes out should people wait before speaking freely about it in the open? As a lover of stories I have great respect for narrative and a proper hatred of spoilers. As such, when dissecting the latest yarn I do my best to ward spoiler-averse people away.

But there has to be a certain point in time when there should no longer be an expectation of warning at all, when everyone who planned to watch/read it has had ample opportunity. When do you guys think that time should be?
For example, it's ridiculous to say "Spoilers Ahead": Jesus dies. Rosebud was his sled. Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. Etc.

I usually give a book series 2-3 months after completion. A TV series with several seasons gets longer, at least long enough for a person to marathon it at a decent pace.

I Need Some Horror

You guys ever heard of Metro 2033? The game came out about 2 years ago. Post-apocalyptic setting. What is it about post-apocalyptic that is so interesting? Is it the idea of our massive population and the bloated society it maintains coming down all around? The 'picking up the pieces' among the ruins simpler existence?

I wanna play this game. ~( O___O)

I'm feeling the craving for some good fear.

The background track will probably sound familiar to you. I like to call it the '28 Days Later theme'.

I Understand A Little Better Now

Still haven't formulated my thoughts on ME3 into a satisfactory state. I'm working on it, with the imaginary discussions and such.

Meanwhile, I've gotten a better picture of why all this backlash against BioWare exists.

Personally, I hadn't paid any attention to Mass Effect 3 before actually getting around to playing it. I hadn't watched any commercials, read or listened to any rumors, read any company responses to those rumors, or caught any of the pre-launch hype. I simply played ME3 without any of that outside knowledge. It was just me and the game. As such, I finished it and had my opinion on the ending and so forth. None of the out-right anger felt by other gamers. I was confused and a little annoyed by how indignant many of them seemed to be. I felt they had no right to be angry the game didn't end the way they wanted it to. Since then, I've made the effort to understand.

Strangely My Only Mass Effect Image

Now that I think about it, it is odd that I don't have any wallpapers for this game.

Another Cool Clip

Do you like physics?



Man, science. Cool stuff.

In other news, I think I'll use this teaching style from now on.  
"I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty." That has to be one of my favorite lines ever said by anyone anywhere for any reason.

Spoilers To Come

Well, I've given it some thought and I want to talk about my ME3 experience. And, unavoidably, there will be spoilers. As such I want to give you guys fair warning, those of you who plan to play the game at some point. I'm not going to review the game exclusively, there are some topics the game brought to my mind is all. So if you don't plan to play the game or don't mind spoilers feel free to come and read.

Meanwhile, I'm giving the game another playthrough. ~~~(__^^)

Mass Effect 3: Thoughts

Finished the game. Not going to spoil, it's worth playing and I don't want to ruin it for you guys.

But I will give out some of my thoughts.

I liked it. The ending is a little weak but I didn't feel like I wasted my time at all and I'm going to play it again.

Yep. That's that.
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You may have heard that Bioware's fanbase has been drinking a lot of the haterade for years. There's a large and rabid band of people who have been heaping the scorn and internet rage on all kinds of things Bioware for a long time, and not just on Mass Effect 3 but other games developed by the company, and even singling out specific writers for the company. It's gotten out of hand.

Spent All My Time Playing Mass Effect 3, So Here You Go

I'm going to elaborate on this later, but I know something has quality when it can make me feel.

 No spoilers, just check out this opening for the game.

First Person Sneaker

So, speaking of video games AND speaking of thing I've spoken of in past posts, I got to thinking about other games I like and, naturally, Thief came up.

You want to know one of my pet peeves? People who squander stealth.

There are some games where you, the player, can just go in like a juggernaut, shooting err'body, throwing 'nades in all directions, and leaving every battlefield behind you littered with charred bodies, blackened craters and bullet holes in every surface. Many games don't penalize you for it and, conversely, they don't reward you for a conservative, economic play style either. In games like that, I have no gripes about people taking the "Rambo approach".

MMORPG and FPS and I'm all out of acronyms...

Any of you play Guild Wars? It's a wonderful online RPG and the sequel is actually gathering beta players as we speak. I've always loved GW more than WarCraft because of the art style. It isn't as cartoony as WoW (oh nice, another acronym). Furthermore, it had a captivating storyline that really drew me in.

What struck me today was that I remembered there are/were a lot of GW players who didn't care about the storyline at all and only played the game's PvP (player vs player) side. I'm like, "What the heck?!" Since when did people start playing RPGs without stories?! What do they think this is, an FPS? And the irony is that, on the other hand, FPS games have really engaging stories these days.
 Think Half-Life, Halo (which I've already praised), CoD: Black Ops, and Mass Effect. That last one really blurs the line but whatever.

Gone are the classic days of Doom and Quake and ROTT (Rise of the Triad) in which we, for all intents and purposes, just a floating batch of guns. To this day I don't know why and what the hell I was killing all those monsters for. ╮(╯ヮ╰)╭

But in a role playing game, how do you leave out that "role playing" part?

In other news, I still think it's odd for a person to play using an opposite gender avatar. (Avatar! Look that word up.) And the people who say they want something nice to look at.... You spend your time ogling your character? That's a little unsettling.

In more news, playing Guild Wars really have me an appreciation for small increments of time. 3 seconds can be a very long time when lots of things are happening. I'll never forget that.

Controller Redux

Just tying up some loose ends for this run of posts:
Console Controllers of the Big Three
The Playstation Controller 
The Xbox Controller
The pre-GameCube Nintendo Controllers

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Mark, I envy you for not having any issues with the PlayStation controller. Two fingers works fine for you, but it doesn't for me. Some of you might be like Mark, you might have no troubles with controller balance. But then, there were people who liked the original "Duke" Xbox controller. They probably had big hands, but my point stands. (Hey, that rhymes.)
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While re-reading my Controller of Big Three post I noticed what might be construed as a contradiction I had made. I pointed out that I could use middle fingers for the triggers with the Xbox ctrllr then I proceeded to say that I naturally hold it with three fingers. These are both true. The ctrllr is balanced such that I can hold it with two or three fingers equally comfortably. The same holds true for the Gamecube ctrllr, but not for the PS ctrllr.
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The Wii-mote is, in a word, wonderful. I won't post a dedicated entry for it because, well, I just don't have anything bad to say about it. The Wii remote itself feels perfectly natural, the motion capture technology works accurately and precisely. Ok, the latter has nothing to do with ergonomics but I felt I should give it due praise. The Nunchuk accessory also feels perfectly natural in hand, the cord comes with an agreeable length, not too long, not too short. So... yeah. Nothing much to say there. Well done, Nintendo. (O_O)-b
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Check out the original design of the PS ctrllr:

 If you want to know more about what happened before we got the current iconic design just read this article.

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So there you go. I'll just leave you with these odds and ends which are related to consoles and such.

Ctrllr anatomy.

Medals from the Console Wars.
Left from top to bottom: SNES, NES, Sega Genesis.
Right: XBOX 360, PS-Could-be-Anything, Dreamcast.

End of the Console Wars. Most of us never cared that much anyway.

The pre-GameCube Nintendo Controllers

Continuing from the Console Controllers of the Big Three post.

See Also:
The Playstation Controller 
The Xbox Controller
The Gamecube Controller

Yeah, this one isn't really dedicated as I hadn't planned on speaking about these but I think I will now.
"These" refers to the ctrllrs of the original Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), the Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) and the Nintendo 64 (N64). Sadly, I don't have any of these controllers on hand but I have used all of them. (I'm old.) (ㅎ︵ㅎ)

 For your pleasure, here's something you might wanna pick up for the holiday season!

8 BIT PROCESSOR! IN STYLE!

Oh, if you're wondering what that gun thing is then you probably never saw the 'NES zapper'.

Yeah, I never saw one in real-life, either.

So starting from the beginning. The controller that started it all. The NES controller.
Note: I will distinguish the NES from the Famicom in this blog post as most Americans, like myself, will not have encountered the Famicom counterparts, such as the hardwired controllers, in our childhoods.

D-pad, Start, Select, A and B.

This one represents simplicity itself.
A four-directional pad and four face buttons. No front-end controls of any kind. Nevertheless, I want to caution you from passing over this first competitor due to its lack of features compared to our contemporary offerings.
For comparison, the Xbox 360 controller has four shoulder controls (two triggers, two buttons), 9 face buttons (including the R3 functions), two analog sticks and a D-pad (which effectively adds four extra buttons). That's 17 assignable buttons and two joysticks. Wow. I'm sure gamepad designers back then would have asked the question, "How many fingers do humans have in your time?"
The D-pad, or joypad, was actually an innovation for home gaming controls of the day. Joysticks had been the standard up to that point, a carry-over from the arcade environment where gaming was born. This seems like a step backwards though, doesn't it? Going from joystick back to D-pad? But you have to remember video games didn't have 3D environments that could take advantage of the control benefits a 360º joystick could provide. Side-scrollers and other such games only needed a directional pad, as handheld gaming *cough* Game Boy *cough* has demonstrated.


Ergonomically speaking, there's really nothing to say. The NES ctrllr has all the ergo. grace of a brick of plastic. Basically all this one was, haha.

Nintendo did issue a single upgraded iteration of both console and ctrllr much later though: the NES-101, also known as the NES 2, a.k.a. the Top Loader, came with the 'dog bone' shaped ctrllr.

As the NES 2 came out after the SNES, any innovation credit should properly be accorded to the latter console's ctrllr. All ergo. changes were retroactively appropriated from the SNES ctrllr.

• The A and B buttons have been shifted to a slant, for easier reach from the right hand's natural gripping position.
• The Start and Select buttons have also been slanted.
• The ctrllr's edges have been rounded for comfort.

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This next one is the iconic gamepad. This controller's design became the basic template on which the most popular console controllers since have been based on or at least influenced by. (Ironically, Nintendo itself has shown less deference to this design than its peers.)

Pictured: Super Famicom, top. SNES, bottom.

Remember my remarks on the parallels between the Dreamcast and Xbox ctrllrs? Well, rather than the Xbox using the colour scheme of the Dreamcast, both ctrllrs (and many others) got their colour scheme of the X-Y-A-B buttons from the SNES. Furthermore, the usage of these four letters became a standard in the industry. (I'm baffled by the decision to place the X button at the top of the diamond and the Y button to the side, though. Or maybe the designers weren't thinking in terms of Cartesian planes.) (⌐⌐_)

The North American market only ever encountered the Purple/Lavender coloured ctrllr, though. They made this change to better colour coordinate the ctrllr with the console. A needless loss, I feel.

In addition, while the Super Famicom's face buttons were convex the SNES had concave buttons.

The SNES ctrllr added two extra face buttons, the X and Y, and introduced shoulder buttons, L and R, for the first time. This combination forms the basic template on which the Xbox, PlayStation and Dreamcast ctrllrs are based. What a legacy! So yeah, the slanted buttons, the rounded edges. Handy.

Years later the PlayStation would come out, then the Xbox and Dreamcast, all using the shoulder buttons and four face buttons layout. PlayStation went with the coloured symbols rather than the alphabet but the influence remains clear. But wait, where is Nintendo's offering? Well, Nintendo's controller designers are nothing if not innovative and they set out to outdo themselves with the N64.

It might have been too much. Just a little.

It has two shoulder buttons, a D-pad, Control Stick, 7 face buttons and a Z button 'trigger' on the bottom.

It's no secret that I think this is one of the worst controllers ever made. Near the end of its service life most games completely ignored the D-pad and L-button.

Nevertheless, credit where credit is due: this controller is innovative. Many, myself included, have made jokes about how it looks like it's designed for someone with three-hands. Hilarious, hilarious jokes aside, this ctrllr is actually designed such that the user can hold it several different ways.

• You can hold it by its two outer grips, ignoring the control stick and Z button trigger. 
• You can hold it by the center grip and right grip, ignoring the D-pad and L shoulder button. This is the normal way most people hold it.
• I never had need to use it this way but there were some FPS games in which you could hold two controllers by the center grip, dual-wielding. I dunno how that would have worked though. How do you access any other buttons?

That's pretty different, I'll admit. There's really only one way to hold most every other game ctrllr, no?  Well, besides the whole two-finger or three-finger hold thing I have trouble with. That difference doesn't hold a candle to the range of difference capable here though.


The return of the joystick marks another fateful Nintendo contribution to the video game industry. Digital D-pads ruled the land and for a time, all was well. Technology hadn't developed to the point where large 3D environments could be rendered well. As this deficiency began to wither away it became clear that the 8 directional movement provided by D-pads wasn't the best. The analog stick allows for 360º movement control and its re-introduction gave additional impetus to the propagation of 3D games. That led to the development of PlayStation's Dual Analog and eventually the wide-spread prioritization of control sticks over D-pads. Damn, Nintendo! We walk in the garden of your turbulence!

On the other hand, this meant the D-pad's use began to decline. The design of the controller forces the user (and the game designer) to choose which way the controller will be held and, consequently, which controls will be within reach. Naturally, the right grip is a given. This last detail cements my opinion of this controller. That's a lot of wasted material there on the left. More than one of you guys commented that you "never had to use the D-pad anyway". This doesn't excuse the design flaw, this is a testament to its poor nature. You could have tightened things up a little, couldn't you, Nintendo?

And the C-buttons. They were too closely packed. Yeah, what a paradoxical combination with what I just said, no? Maybe it was just me but my thumb tip isn't sensitive enough to discern which direction the obtuse triangles imprinted on them are pointing. I remember pressing the wrong one more than once. Furthermore, their placement in relation to the A button meant I had to release it in order to press the Right Triangle. This frustrated me to no end while playing Star Wars Episode I: Racer. A to thrust, Left and Right C buttons to roll. Even the least hardcore amongst you must recognize the disadvantage presented by needing to release the GO FAST button during a race, yes?

By the way, Aldar Beedo was mah boo. His MARK IV Flat-Twin Turbojet podracer kicked ass.

As for gripping style, of course I used three fingers. There are only two buttons on the shoulders. And, ok, it is kinda cool that the middle grip feels a bit like a gun. Although the Z button isn't a trigger in the true sense, it felt like one when I was a kid. Moreover, the grips are comfortable.

So there you go. Yeah, my rage and such doesn't come out so much when I'm going into detail about it, eh? Nintendo has done a lot for us gamers, and while I maintain my disapproving stance of the N64 ctrllr I am not so blind as to deny it due praise for its good works.
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And that concludes my run of Controller reviews. Thanks for reading, guys.

The GameCube Controller

Dedicated GameCube entry continuing from the Console Controllers of the Big Three post.

See Also:
The Playstation Controller 
The Xbox Controller
The pre-GameCube Nintendo Controllers

NB: Henceforth I will use the following abbreviations: (why is abbr. itself such a long word?)

• crtllr - controller
• PS - PlayStation
• GCN - GameCube
• ergo. - ergonomics

Unlike the previous two posts, this one will probably be much shorter I'm sorry I promise. (⌐⌐_) In contrast to the extended families the PS and Xbox ctrllrs enjoy, the GCN ctrllr is an only child. It has no predecessors, no descendants. No wait! Guess what I haaaave~ ♫

The Wavebird Wireless ctrllr.

Yeah, baby! Hot stuff right here. You know they don't even make these anymore? Wireless ctrllrs will be the wave of the future, I tell you. My dream is that all consoles will one day use wireless as the standard.  <(￣◡￣)>
.
.
.
What's that? Wireless is already here? Xbox 360? Sixaxis? DualShock 3? Wii-mote? Move? Kinect?

Well, my work here is done. Farewell, comrades.

Oh, wait. Ergonomics. Right. *ahem*

So yeah, only two specimens for examination this round, people. And they're basically identical so... yeah. Nevertheless, we shall carry on.

The bare obviousness of it might actually cause a lot of people to miss this but look at it. It's different in the very fact that it's so... normal. No point prevaricating around it; the GCN ctrllr looks, dare I say, unremarkable alongside its peers. And not in a bad way.

To refresh your memory.

See there's the secondary analog stick on the right, the primary on the left above a D-pad (get with the times Sony, come on), a four button array on the far right and some front end buttons. Actually those L and R buttons are a bit unusual. I'll get to that.

But yeah, first impressions: this is a pretty straight-forward piece of hardware right here. In fact, I'd like to note that this one doesn't have any expansion capabilities whatsoever. The N64 had that Rumble Pak slot, remember? And the Wii-mote can connect to the Nunchuk. But the GCN ctrllr is more reminiscent of a PS controller: What you get is all you need. Plug and Play. (Original Xbox ctrllrs also had expansion slots.)

Oh, the small oddity of the L/R buttons? When depressed completely they click, effectively giving this ctrllr an additional two 'buttons'. Conversely, unlike the PS and Xbox ctrllrs, the analog sticks on the GCN ctrllr cannot be pressed at all. It lacks any "L3/R3 function". (That's what I like to call it, giving homage to the designation given by the PS ctrllrs that used it first.) In my opinion, the GCN did not benefit from this exchange. Whereas the user can utilize R3 functions freely without also needing to apply superfluous input to the joysticks, the GCN's L/R buttons must (obviously) be depressed before reaching the 'click' point. Thankfully, this never inconvenienced the gamer due to the game control designers' accommodations. In my experience they always gave the L/R clicks complementary functions to the L/R buttons themselves. This is smart but I feel providing R3 functions in the first place would have been better.

Now then, as you might expect, we will take a look at the contours of the grip.

The GCN crtllr.

Well, look at it. That's a smooth curve and a gentle angle right there. It fits right in your hands. I normally use a three finger grip with this ctrllr.

Though a two finger grip also feels perfectly comfortable.

The two finger grip, though seldom needed, comes in handy for actions like using the bow in Wind Waker (assuming you assigned the bow to the 'Z' button like me).

The Wavebird is the same as the regular ctrllr with regards to button placement/spacing, etc. but its grip is slightly taller.

It's easier to tell haptically than visually.

This doesn't affect comfort as the difference is slight. Otherwise, the two are ergonomically identical.

Nothing harsh to say about this controller, though nothing especially praiseworthy either. If not for the L/R button/click issue the GCN ctrllr would draw almost even with the Xbox 360 but it falls just a tick short on my ranking due to the cord. The Wavebird does not save it; it has wireless capability but it sacrificed its rumble feature to do so. ╮(╯_╰)╭