Friday, February 13, 2015

Do That In Your Own Bathtub, Kid

So I saved a kid at my pool today.

We have swim lessons here for a nearby elementary school so these kids are maybe 9 or 10 years old. This kid knows she can't swim but she has a kickboard so, of course, she lets go of the wall and pushes off for deeper water while the instructor is turned away occupied with another student.
Portable invincibility, now with 10% more buoyancy.
She floundered, lost her grip on the board (the inanimate foam object floated away faster than she "swam"), and promptly started drowning. This isn't the first time I've seen someone die/dying in front of me but the difference is I can't say *definitively* that the others deserved their fates. This one did. She's old enough to know better and her actions were deliberate. I spoke with her teacher after, naturally it turns out this one misbehaves regularly. I retrieved her and said the title line before sitting her out for the rest of the lesson.

You probably don't know what drowning looks like. Like everything else, what you've seen on TV and in the movies is incorrect. The act of drowning is almost silent. There is no screaming, no cries for help, no big splashing. Her teacher sitting nine feet away, calmly looking at her no less, did not realize what she was witnessing. Her classmates (obediently) hanging on the wall two feet away didn't notice anything amiss either.

In another 'verse that kid died today. Nobody else noticed she was even in trouble and she shouldn't have been. She should have stayed put like the rest, like they were told.

What's the average life expectancy these days? I'll venture a conservative 70 years. She will live another sixty years because of me. She will live because of me. She will live. She'll finish this elementary school shit, move on to high school shit, I doubt this dumb fuck will go to college, she'll make new friends throughout, find a job, fall in love, maybe fall out of love, have children, start a family; she has the opportunity to do it all now.

I don't feel any pride. I felt no relief. I feel no joy. My heart rate didn't go up before, during, nor after the rescue. Instead, I feel hatred. I hate her for her stupidity. I hate her for her foolishness.

I hereby return unto you the sixty years of your life and all associated experiences contained therein that you threw away, you fucking cunt.

I notice some of you tightened up when I called her a cunt but I save your damn life I can call you whatever the fuck I want. Enjoy, bunghole. (O_Ô)凸