Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Grudge 2 [2006] Pt.2

And this should set my post count straight. (O______O)-b

Meanwhile, Eason looks over some footage of an investigator being interviewed about the Saeki house. We've seen this before. Kayako makes an appearance in the background of the video, makes some death rattle noises, etc. *roll eyes* He decides to go back the house and Aubrey decides to tag along.


Jump back to the Chicago apartment. Some thumping noises awaken Jake and he pokes his head outside to see the hooded figure going downstairs. Being the white guy that he is, he must investigate. Allison digs through the trash and retrieves a bunch of old newspaper. She uses it to, you guessed it, cover all her windows. This is the Izumi story from J:TG remade if you didn't already recognize it.

The husband seems suspicious of his wife, despite having just married her. I think Takeo's spirit is supposed to be possessing him but since when has any of the curse been about the dead people's spirits possessing other people to this extent? The vengeful ghosts from the grudge destroy people. Kayako's/Toshio's/Takeo's consciences aren't supposed to be floating around. I think that nuance has been forgotten at this point.

So the blonde, whose name is Vanessa, and Allison get called to the office since Miyuki has gone missing. Allison yells at her and takes off while the counselor leaves Vanessa alone in the room to chase after her. She dicks around for a while, playing with the pens and the desk lamp before it unplugs itself. She gets under the table to plug it back in when Toshio scampers past, startling her. We get the Mizuho scene from Ju-on [2000]. Vanessa takes off and ends up in a phone booth where she tries calling Miyuki. Apparently Kayako stole her phone 'cause she answers. Toshio grabs her knees and Kayako's hair comes down and wraps her in a bad CGI effect. The grudge now takes people in broad daylight. Where's the horror? I ain't feelin' it.


Cut to Eason and Aubrey. He goes in and finds Kayako's diary, discovering that her mother was an exorcist who removed evil spirits from people and fed them to her daughter, Kayako. I don't know what that has to do with anything, Kayako seemed like a normal housewife before the murder. They go back to Eason's apartment and he heads into a darkroom to develop some photographs. Kayako pulls a Sadako and takes him down. Rather than the death rattle noise, she makes a squawk/squeal noise when she does so, as if to underline how far this rotten apple has rolled from the tree.


The curse behaves differently in these American remakes. In the Japanese films it haunts and then kills its victims. In the American movies it haunts and follows and stalks, not coincidentally giving the director plenty of opportunities to jump scare us, before killing them. Guess which approach is superior.


Cut back to Chicago. The daughter randomly shows off a cheerleader outfit to her friend who randomly drinks a jug of milk before regurgitating it back into the jug. AWKWARD. Fortunately, Daughter gets a call from Jake, allowing her to get the fuck out of that situation. Mom and Dad have been fighting. Ruh-roh. The milk drinking friend dies in a throw-away scene. The next morning we come to the scene from the beginning of the movie. The husband has made a full transformation into his abusive self. Meanwhile, the wife is seen leaning against the wall adjacent to Allison's room. It almost seems like Kayako's spirit got her and Takeo's spirit got him. That's not how the grudge did its work back in the day....
Yeah, that's kinda my face when I found this movie.

Cut back to Allison returning to the counselor's office. The counselor assures her that nothing was at that house. She went there with the cops and they found nothing! YAY!! \(^o^)/
wait- you what?! (⊙Д⊙) Then we get this...

Cut to Aubrey on a bus heading to Kayako's mother. There's an old man playing peek-a-boo with an invisible kid. It looks like they actually got the wheelchair guy from J:TG to reprise his small role just for this reused bit. She finds the mother cowering in the corner of a dilapidated house in the countryside. For some reason she speaks English when the two nurses in the modern Tokyo hospital did not. Aubrey demands that she do something about Kayako since she "made her what she is". Wait. If the childhood exorcisms made her what she is, where does Takeo fit into this? Kayako's obsession with Kobayashi, the school teacher, and her subsequent murder is what started all this right? Now it sounds like even if Kayako had died a normal death she would have left an onryou. Shimizu, you're making less and less sense. Fortunately, the mother denies that the exorcisms did this. *phew* Continuity is maintained. Then the mom dies. (- -__;;) Aubrey takes off without phoning the police or anything. She returns to the house and demands to know what it wants.
Meanwhile, Jake and Daughter (Lacey) return home to find the house in shambles. Jake finds his dead father in the kitchen and Lacey drowned in the bathtub. Then he sees a vision of his mother being pulled under the water by Toshio. None of this frightening by the way. We're just watching the events now. There's no cinematography at all here.
Aubrey walks into a wormhole view back in time to when Takeo found his wife's records of her infidelity. Somehow she takes Kayako's place as Takeo's ghost kills her again.
Jake finds Allison crying in the hallway under her hoodie.

Verdict: Shitty movie. Yeah.. that's it.

The Grudge 2 [2006] Pt.1

The Grudge......2.....SHIT.
SHIMIZU Y U STILL MAKE MOVIE? (سಥ益ಥ)س
GODDAMN

Anyway, this isn't a remake of anything. It actually has a new (shitty) storyline and new shitty characters with shitty actors. (_____- -)=3 *sigh*

Ok, so this may seem odd to compliment but the opening credit for the distributor Columbia Pictures had a nifty effect. If you watch this go check it out. Not that it saves the movie. At all.

The opening scene kindly lets you know you're in for a treat. The frying pan scene from Ju-on 2 has been pilfered and made worse. For one, why take 'inspiration' from the worst installment so far? Yes, Ju-on 2 was worse than The Grudge. The scene itself wasn't terrible. In Ju-on 2 that is. Here? They took the average husband and made him a cardboard cut-out of an abusive brutish husband. The average housewife is now a cardboard abused wife. They actually have you thinking, "You go girl!" rather than feel horror that the unassuming wife just killed her husband without warning. How misguided of a horror movie is this?

The blonde even has a goddamn TROLLFACE
After a "Previously, on The Grudge" segment overlaying the credits, we meet our protagonists: a normal girl and two "popular girls" who are obviously stringing her along with the promise of letting her join their clique. Oh yeah, there's an Asian, a blonde and a brunette. Guess which one is the odd one out? And what cruel prank are they challenging her to overcome if she ever wants to be accepted in? I'll give you one guess.

Less than 8 minutes in and we get to the Saeki house. To his credit, Shimizu remembered to make the house look burnt, maintaining the continuity with The Grudge. It turns out the blonde is the ringleader, which made me wonder: Why is a Japanese girl attending the International High School? And she's not even the ringleader of this gaijin clique in her own country. (__¬ ¬)
They dare her to go in the closet and count to 10. The door gets stuck and she gets double-teamed by mah boo, Toshio, and Kayako. Toshio, still makin' cat noises, you little demon you. *tsk tsk*

Now the scene goes to Buffy's Karen's sister, in California getting the boot from mom to go see Karen in Japan. Of course, Aubrey only speaks English. (⌐ ⌐__) This gives a journalist, Eason, played by Edison Chen, the opportunity to translate for her dumb ass and get them to meet. He's investigating the mystery of all these deaths surrounding the Saeki house and it just so happens he is trying to get an interview with Karen. Karen does a perfect job of making her sister believe she is crazy by saying all the wrong things and nothing to explain. The doctors promptly strap her down and usher Aubrey out of the room. When everyone is gone Karen decides to whisper, "Aubrey...don't go in that house." YEAH. YOU'RE JUST ALL KINDS OF HELPFUL AREN'T YOU KAREN. Fortunately, Kayako comes for her post-haste. Get that white chick! GO GO GO!
...Man. This movie is some shit. Honestly. Look at me cheering for these people to get done in.

Jump to that husband and wife moving in to his apartment. It's in Chicago, Illinois and the husband and wife have just married. *shrug* ╮(╯_╰)╭ The man's daughter is cool with this but the son acts coldly. The wife, Trish, puts her things in the closet, previously filled with Jake's things. Apparently, Jake is a real sporty kid since that closet had nothing but hockey sticks, baseball mitts, umpire gear and this room is decorated with a basketball hoop, team posters, etc. Ok, we get it. He likes sports. What cheap characterization. Next door a Mr. Fleming returns home with someone wearing a hoodie. Turns out this is the brunette, Allison. Jake sees Toshio loitering outside her apartment.

Jump back to Allison back in the classroom. The curse is still playing with her at this stage with black cats brushing past her legs and Toshio creeping under people's tables. It seems like Miyuki, the Asian, is also feeling it. The blonde seems unaffected until we see her in the shower. First she finds long black hairs at her feet.
The music cue tells us that this is supposed to be frightening but why? This is a girls' shower stall. Long hair on the floor should not surprise anyone. Shimizu's really starting to show some weariness when it comes to instilling fear in the audience. It isn't working. Attempted jump scare moments become more and more frequent.
A dress and what looks like a wig(?) hanging in the corner turns into Kayako who makes her trademark death rattle noise and take a step towards Blonde. I don't know her name. She promptly pisses herself and runs out of there. What was the point of that? I don't know. Are we supposed to laugh that the bully soiled herself so easily? But if we're supposed to be laughing we're not scared. What is Shimizu going for here?
Cut to Miyuki meeting up with her gaijin boyfriend. (- -____) Am I the only one who wonders why she doesn't have an Asian boyfriend? You got Edison Chen in here already so what's one more brother? They promptly head to a love hotel. (- -________________) This guy hasn't even had any characterization yet. What a ho. (That goes for both of them.) She gets nervous and hides under the covers. Kayako gets a little frisky with Miyuki before pulling her through the mirror. I lol'ed. Gaijin comes out of the shower and only finds her jacket. OOOH SNAP! Blue-balled by a ghost.
(>ワ)AHAHAHAHA

GOOD LORD, LOOK AT THE LENGTH OF THIS POST.
Well, I told you I like to watch bad movies and that I like to rant about them so... You had fair warning. I'm a man of my word. Also I am behind by one post so if I split this into two I'll be right on.... ha-HAA!!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Ju-on: The Grudge 2 [2003]

NOTE: Apologies for the late post, it's been kinda busy around here lately.

So you feel like these posts about Ju-on are dragging on a little? Too many? Seen enough? WELL THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS SERIES. How about that for some recursive emotion. Don't worry though! This one was actually really good! Let me say that again.
J:TG 2 WAS GOOD!
Good for you Shimizu, pulling out a good one after 3 iterations already. For those of you expecting a steady downward drop in quality leading up to The Grudge [2004], well, he sure played you didn't he? trololololol

After Ju-on, Ju-on 2 and Ju-on: The Grudge we finally meet a brand new cast of characters and a new premise. A pregnant actress happens to be unlucky enough to run across (or run over hehe) the curse and ends up losing her child (or does she?!).
Meanwhile, a reality TV show has taken an interest in the Saeki house and sends a cast and crew to investigate. This can only end well. \(ºヮº)/
So the host of the show, Tomoka, has been hearing odd thumping noises coming from her wall. One day she comes home to find her boyfriend standing in an odd corner, although he's rather high off the floor...
Here I'd like to point out a really cool thing that would only happen in an ASIAN movie. She realizes he isn't home because his shoes aren't by the door.

As usual the six chapters of this movie run in a non-linear order. At first I was confused because the curse seemed to be going after Tomoka before she'd come in contact with it. Mah b... (^_^;;)7

Shimizu introduces a new time-travel element into the curse which I don't really care for. It works but I can't say I like it. That odd thumping noise I mentioned? It's caused by feet hitting the wall. And that scratching... You'll see what I mean.

This film has a slower pace, much like Ju-on, and I think returning to that really helped elevate this film for Shimizu.

One by one the cast and crew of the documentary show fall victim to the curse. Most of the crew die off-screen, we only hear about it from one of the main characters. I have to say that while this film had a good batch of scares, it IS beginning to drag a little. At this point the nuance of the curse itself is starting to fade. If you approached this film without watching any of the others I'd say with confidence that you will like it very much. As for me, the mystery element wherein the characters trace the house's story back to the Saeki murder? Seen it multiple times. Kayako coming for each one? Seen that too. And there's one really bad CGI effect (you'll know which one I'm talking about when you see it) doesn't help. One of my favorite Shimizu techniques is when he doesn't show us the monster in motion, instead we hear the sound of the corpse dragging itself across the floor, falling through the hole into the closet while the camera tracks its movement through the ceiling, behind the door...

The conclusion to this movie reveals a very interesting turn of events for the future of the grudge. I hope Shimizu's all grudged out at this point because I think leaving things here is perfect. LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE DAMN IT. DAMN IT!

 Verdict: An enjoyable film and a definite jump in horror quality after Ju-on 2. I'd say it beat out Ju-on: The Grudge by just a little bit but lost to Ju-on by a good margin. Keep in mind that The Grudge hadn't come out yet so we'll leave that out but suffice it to say that Shimizu does not maintain the upward momentum in movie quality.

Lastly, once again I'd like to turn your attention to the lack of jump scares around here. Always a good thing. Let's hope everyone learned their lesson this time and no one goes near that damn house again! (ಠ︿ಠ)

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Ju-on 2 [2000]

ha-HAA!! Ju-on week continues! (ಠ ◡ ಠ)
After going through the first, its remake and the remake of that remake we now come to the sequel of the original, entitled Ju-on 2. Confused? Yeah, I'm not surprised. Here's a handy cheat sheet of what we've covered so far.
A Recap of the Ju-on Film Series Timeline
1998 'Katasumi' and '4444444444' appear in the horror film Gakkou no Kaidan G
2000 Ju-on + Ju-on 2
2003 Ju-on: The Grudge
2004 The Grudge (American remake)
Released in the same year as Ju-on, Ju-on 2 gives us a little more information and a bit more footage around the curse and the characters. Sadly a good 40% of the movie is actually just recycled footage from the first film. Yeah. WHAT A RIP-OFF. ( /ÒmÓ)/╧╧ *table flip*
The first 20 minutes of the movie is simply Kobayashi's portions of Ju-on, the Toshio chapter and the Kayako chapter, put together. Then we get the realtor agent and his psychic sister. Another 10 minutes of recycled footage before starting in on new stuff. I will say that it dovetails nicely between the first and second movie at this point but taking up almost half the movie with what can only be called a prologue is kind of lazy. This movie originally aired as a TV movie and I would understand laying out the previous movie for newcomers but it was such a hit. Why not assume most people would know the story at this point? A mere 40 minutes of actual new movie....
What you get out of this movie:
1) The extended story of the realtor agent and his family.
2) You get a little peek at how Takeo killed Kobayashi's wife.
3) You see more of Izumi's story, the group of schoolgirls who snuck into the house in J:TG.
And that's about it. This movie wasn't any kind of good, as much as I like Ju-on. This movie didn't have to exist. It's a cash grab as far as I can tell. Skip it. Just skip it. (- -_______)

Friday, July 1, 2011

The Grudge [2004]

The American remake! You knew this was coming guys and I hope you were expecting a tirade cuz I aim to please. (O_<)-b

O Hollywood, you money-grubbing, ravenous scavenging bastards. Such good material and you had to go and enhance it. Why? The subdued atmosphere made that film what it was! Takashi Shimizu.....you had a good thing going there, you really did.

Was it a bad film? ....Yeah, it really kind of was. I'd like to make a note of the fact that a jump scare moment happens at 7 minutes and 20 seconds in. Yeah, not even 10 minutes and they throw one at you.

Ju-on: The Grudge started to lose its grip on the roots but this one just washed away, only hanging on to some residual material. I've already said my piece on the casting of Sarah Michelle Gellar.
I mentioned the lost mystery element in J:TG. Well, The Grudge didn't bring it back. Still, while the film as a whole fell flat, I will say that the final reveal sequence exhibited two points of improvement. Bill Pullman's acting hasn't gotten any better since Independence Day but whatever, I won't harp on that stuff anymore for now. The mystery wasn't as good as Ju-on, ok, but it was a bit better than J:TG, though J:TG was a better film otherwise. Is that confusing?
Ju-on Film Series Ranking (so far)
#1: Ju-on
#2: Ju-on: The Grudge
#3: The Grudge
Hope that helps. (^___^;;)7
How they should have looked.
But yes, the final reveal sequence. This is the first Ju-on film to show Toshio's death and explains why he's always making cat noises. Also I especially liked Shimizu's addition of the rhythmic thumping sound against the wall caused by Takeo's swinging corpse. Oh chills of awesomeness! /((>◡<))\ These were the highlights of the film. Everything else, faded shadows of what was and what could have been. Every single scare was punctuated by an unnecessary loud noise. Kayako falls out of the attic in front of the teacher instead of being found. These cheap little tweaks to try and make things scarier really just destroy the film. ╮(╯︵╰)╭
Toshio doesn't just meow anymore. He roars at people. What the fuck is that? The demise of the couple is just cringing to watch. The cinematography of the scene is horrid and just look at that green skin!
What the hell did they do to their corpses?
The sister of the couple, called Susan in this one, gets chased up the stares by Kayako's crawling ghost. (⌐ ⌐▂) What happened to subtlety?





J:TG - Hitomi is so dead.




 


The Grudge - OH MY GOD SOMEONE'S ALREADY HERE!
Look at these two shots of the 'under the covers' scene. In The Grudge, Kayako looks like she's surprised to see someone in the bed already.


In a final act of spineless wannabe-ism, the final shot is a direct rip-off of Ringu: A close-up of  one of Kayako's eyes through her veil of hair.